I am in a contemplative mood as I write. Today, I’m going to get real with you about the importance of our relationships. The past few months have reminded me again and again that our time on this planet is finite.

Last week, law enforcement found one of my high school classmates frozen to death outside her car. This happened during the record-low temperatures of the Polar Vortex in Minnesota. She leaves behind an eight-year-old daughter, which devastates me the most. My classmates and those who knew her expressed shock at her death. Several also wished that they had followed through on their plan to get together in person. Now it is too late.

In December, a family member had hours to live until airlifted to a hospital for life-saving surgery. The time around Christmas and New Year’s already tends to be a difficult season for me. It was an extremely close call. It makes me treasure every extra moment I have with this person. Then a close friend’s parent received a devastating medical diagnosis.

I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer. But this series of events highlights the importance of my relationships with family and friends. Our relationships with others are the most important things in our lives.

Stop and take a moment to reflect on the relationships that mean the most to you.

Who are they? Family members? Friends?

Pick one of these important people and think about them from one minute. What makes them special to you? What memories do you share it together? When did you last see them? If not recently, when can you see them again? What were the last words you said to that person?

Choose to prioritize relationships.

I made several resolutions to nurture relationships with my family and friends. They all relate to me developing a deep connection, one of my core desired feelings, with others. These relationships matter too much to me to take for granted. I have been guilty of working too hard at the expense of relationships, especially friendships. I don’t want to look back on my life and regret that my actions did not reflect my priorities.

How do you want to feel in your relationships?

I plan my life in a holistic fashion inspired by The Desire Map, a book by Danielle LaPorte. One of the five life areas is relationships and society.

Using this process, here are some questions to ask yourself about your relationships. Below, I frame the questions about a specific relationship. You can also focus on your relationships in general.

I’m grateful for the following about my relationships with this person because:

Here’s what’s not working in this relationship because:

Here’s how I want to feel when I am with this person:

Here’s what I will do to feel that way:

Contact a person important to you right now.

Give them a call. Send them a text. Email them. If possible, schedule a time to get together in person. If they are in the room with you, hold them close. You won’t regret it.